|...into my button tin|
The doctor does not think that I am depressed - or at least maybe a little but he cant make that assessment after only seeing me once (the joys of the modern system - and ok this was only the third appoint to this practice but yes 3rd Doctor) - the overriding issue that he thinks I am suffering from is stress. I guess that depression and stress can be different edges of the same blade.
I dont really understand stress - to me I dont feel stressed. Stressed is someone in a panic because they have a massive deadline or have taken a lot on .... oh I get it... erm I have had a lot to deal with in the last few years.
He signed me off for two weeks (ooops forgot to contact work - still cant face actual talking so I will email hope they understand and dont try to phone me - really couldn't cope with that - yep just thinking about it and I can feel heart hammering).
He did suggest a month - but thought that two weeks would be a good start and see how I go from there.
So I have some breathing space which is good.
I did manage to face the supermarket yesterday evening but that was almost too much, I almost walked out, but made it round. Luckily it was the evening so didn't have to wait too long at the till and thankfully I didn't get a 'chatty' till assistant. I was shaking by the time I'd got back to the car and was on the point of tears. Dear gods since when did buying milk become so hard? I haven't really been eating not hungry and when I am I dont know what I want or cant be bothered, so I did buy a couple of cheat meal - just so that we actually had dinner. But on the other hand I was fine with a Post Office run for LittlemouseLilly order today!
I need to evaluate.